the last two months have been very hard and with a million changes. but i had in my mind all types of people with sexual desires. so; who are you?
despite the decrease in sexual taboos, it is still hard for most people to openly share their true thoughts and feelings about their sexual fantasies and desires. Even in the protected and non-judgmental confines of a therapeutic environment, it is not easy for patients to disclose the full range of their internal sexual world.
Many of those barriers to comfort come from childhood teachings and modeling, sexual trauma, over-protection, or a lack of opportunity to gain acceptance and guidance in the years when a person’s sexuality begins to develop. What a person has been taught to suppress in those formative years often remains a pervasive deterrent to openly sharing, even with a trusted partner.
As sexual behavior is such an important part of most people’s lives, the need for more comfort and openness in talking about it is truly important, especially between sexual partners. A way to begin that process is to realize that one is not alone and that the most common categories of human sexual behavior are not unusual or abnormal.
The following are ten areas of sexual desire and experience that my patients have shared with me most often over time. You are likely to identify with some and not with others. Also, some may be easier to accept, while others are less so. That is totally normal. What is important is for you to fully accept yourself and to know how and when you can be comfortable sharing your thoughts and feeling with your sexual partner.
1. Romantic Being in love while making love is the most sought-after sexual experience for most people. Blending together a fantasy of perfect connection with unbridled lust often results in couples dissolving into one another’s perfection, lost in the beauty of two becoming one. “La Belle Triste,” the beautiful sadness when they realize, after the love-making ends, that they are two again.
2. Mutual Masturbation Sometimes two people, whether in a relationship or not, are too tired or too busy to enter into a prolonged sexual ritual. But they both feel in the mood and just want a simple orgasm and an easy disconnect. Their goal is to make sure the other gets off, and no more is asked for or needed.
3. Routine Like all else in life, it is all too easy to fall into rituals. They take less thought and less worry. Too often, perhaps, couples who have been together for a long time, stressed by life’s demands, slip into predictable sexual routines. They can be mutually satisfying physically but are rarely lustful or exciting. Some people find that enough, but many others begin to wonder whether something better is out there.
4. Dominant/Submissive Some people need a power struggle of some kind to make their sex interesting and exciting. Being “taken,” or forced to submit to control, invigorates some partners in ways that tender connection cannot. What is important is that it is mutually agreed upon and does not slip into one person getting his or her needs met at the expense of the other.
5. Polyamorous This area covers a wide swath of sexual behavior. Non-binary openness to being whomever you authentically enjoy, having more than one partner at a time, several at one time, swapping partners, or participating in orgies can allow people to explore all parts of their sexual orientation.
6. Self-Pleasuring Masturbation is a natural human behavior, yet many people still feel awkward about talking about it with others or demonstrating it during sex with another. Almost all males watch porn to intensify their auto-pleasuring and many women do as well, although women often pick different options. Couples who are comfortable with masturbation in front of their partners can demonstrate to their partners what most pleasures them.
7. Celebratory So many people want to have sex when they are in unusual places or experiencing meaningful times. A lot of babies arrive nine months after New Year’s Eve. Too often though, a committed couple only has deeply connected and lustful sex in celebratory moments, when the stresses of life abate.
8. Purchased Unfortunately, this type of sexual encounter is most often sought out by men and tends to portray the behavior as debasing of women. Yet, it is a regularly practiced behavior and has been since the beginning of time. Because it is most often a purely transactional encounter, the person purchasing dictates the behavior expected and the person agreeing, the price.
9. Obligational Men tend to respond sexually to visual triggers moreso than women, whereas more women than men can get turned on by other factors. Yet, both can find themselves in situations where they feel obligated to be sexual with someone they are not attracted to at the time. Women, sadly, can fake it more easily. A man’s sexual apparatus is on the outside and less easy to hide if there is no arousal.
10. Illicit Sexuality is an intimate behavior shared at the time by people who have made certain promises to each other as to whether it is limited just to that relationship or is open to concurrent experiences with others. These agreements are sacrosanct in maintaining trust. Illicit essentially means unlawful. The laws in any relationship are the moral and ethical behaviors that both partners have agreed to live by. One-sided breaking of those promises can produce exciting and increased lust because of the immorality of the action and can also make the existing relationship less attractive in comparison. This, of course, has the potential to severely damage the relationship.
Conclusion You can begin to become more comfortable about your own sexual preferences if you simply talk about these categories with your partner or just explore them within yourself. You can also explore where your sexual desires differ from your sexual experiences, and how you might better integrate them.
hi! I met a wonderful girl for whom I would give anything, even my life.
we were extremely beautiful in the beginning, we complemented each other, better and better, day after day. we had the same plans, ideals to build something indescribable.
40 days have passed since we didn't write to each other, since I lost all contact with her. i miss her and i'm worried she might not be well. I said to give her a break, maybe she will change her mind.
it all started about two years ago, we had countless fights on strange grounds, small quarrels.i'm curious if the sexual intercourse is to blame. She always told me that he would try more kinky things with me. but I always had reservations, I thought slaps on her beautiful booty and hair pulling or choking were enough.
I always proved to her that I could be a b"rave knight "all night long without hesitation.
I don't want to lose her because my subconscious tells me that and also my heart(obviously).once every three days I dream of her. to be honest i won't give up never to be
with someone who would make me happy. ❤️
maybe she is afraid to be with someone for many years, although she made it clear that he would like our relationship to last.
thank you very much!
I have about 500 million little and big kinks/turn ons. Does anyone have a specific thing they get soaking/hard over or is it normal to have a million things
As a tall man with a cock to match, I’ve always been turned on but petite tiny women who crave a man of my size. Something about short fiery women with the desire to be filled to the max turns me on.
I cannot describe him physically accurately; especially since his confidence gave him such an unapproachable appearance. it was perfect, as if specifically designed to arouse women. he was smart, handsome and smartly dressed casually. I had read a lot about him in the press, plus I had heard my girlfriends gossiping. now I was already staring at him and he was returning my pleasure. he simply kept silent. we both simply kept silent and looked at each other. the silence that crossed the room made me hear my heart beating faster and faster. his mere presence excites me. I already had hundreds of fantasies with him in my head and only 15 minutes had passed. those hands and those legs straight and long and fleshy; that bulging butt. damn i hope they don't hire me. I could already feel how my nipples were stinging and I couldn't wait to get out of there; to get home, to masturbate thinking about him. to imagine how I feel him all over me, how it penetrates and tears me with every movement; to feel him eager and wild. needed badly to stuff my holes thinking about him. when the clocked ticked i just left.
Keith was 12 the first time the old man in the well spoke to him. Keith was out playing after dark on the family’s small farm near the well. The old well had beams supporting a rope and pulley with a bucket attached, even though Keith was told that well ran dry before he was born. Suddenly he heard someone say his name in a slow raspy voice. Keith whirled around and saw no one. A look of confusion spread across his face as he heard it again. “Keith!” This time, it was said with more force and a bit louder. The voice sounded like one of the old farmers who liked to smoke, thought Keith. Looking down the well, Keith heard the same voice asking, “Have you got anything tasty?”. Keith couldn’t see anything past the first 12 or so feet down the well, even though it was a full moon. “Who are you? How’d you get down there?”, Keith asked. “If you give me something tasty, I’ll reward you”, replied the voice. All Keith had were some cookies he had stuffed in his pocket as he left to play. He put those in the bucket and it lowered it. He had lowered it nearly 40 feet and was literally at the end of his rope when he no longer felt the weight of the bucket on the rope. 20 seconds passed and he felt the weight of the bucket again and began to pull the bucket up. As he finished the pulling the bucket up to the top he heard the voice say, “No nice.” Keith saw a reflection in the bucket and saw a rectangular piece of silver metal, about the size of an army dog tag. It was completely flat and smooth. “Want fresh!” the voice said. Even though Keith tried to talk to the old man again there was no response. Keith made up a story about where he found the metal and took it to his father who took it into town and confirmed it was an ounce of pure silver. After that, Keith kept it a secret. It took a while to discover that the old man was only there the night of full moons. Keith quickly learned that only live things he put in the well would be rewarded, but only once for each item and once every full moon. So one of each kind of animal was lowered down the well and rewarded. Keith now had a cigar box mostly full of silver pieces by the time he was 16, but had run out of different animals to get rewarded for. It was around this time that a local farmhand went missing. It was also the same time that Keith was rewarded with gold pieces for the first time. Once Keith took over the farm, temp workers seemed to vanish every now and then without explanation from the farm. The old man had finally found something tasty enough to always reward.
